IT’S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR FOLKS! FLU SEASSSOONNNNN!!! *shrieks of terror from germaphobes like myself* The cooler weather removes the serene silence of the classroom, as sneezes, coughing, and sniffles fill the air. It’s only a few days before we see white tissues waving weakly, with students surrendering themselves to the unconquerable common cold. And so, to mark this special time of the year, we’ve decided to give you a few tips on how to survive this battle that’s befallen us.
1. Hoodies, sweaters, crew-necks, and zip-ups – the best things ever. PUT THOSE SUCKERS ON.
2. Tea, tea, and more tea. Drink tea until you bleed tea. Tea is life. Your throat will thank you.
3. Halls will suddenly have a devoted customer in you. Get your favourite flavour while they last! Remember, supplies are rationed in a war.
4. Think about what kind of tissue you like. Are you a two-ply sorta person? One-ply? Scented? With moisturizer in it? Buy that tissue. Buy lots of that tissue.
5. Wash your hands. A lot.
6. Drink your liquids, eat your veggies, and get your sleep. It’s your best tactic against the enemy.
We end with the wise words of Sun Tzu, the author of The Art of War; “Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak.” Try your best to go to class, keep up with school work, and avoid infecting others. Just hold on, we’ll make it through this – together.